Monday, October 20, 2014

the sweet tale of How Lice gave me a Tumor

Our life has been that of a dark Willy Wonka short.
The real trenches of regular life I suppose.
However, I am climbing back out on the other side, White flag still tucked firmly in my pocket.
God is good and has carried us through as He always does..but man did I realize just how much weight i needed to put on Him this past month.

Because I have very little time to waste, and also just because I can and have NO teacher breathing MLA format down my neck. I report to you in my normal list fashion, the events of the Cain Train over the past month.

1. My niece, Everly Charlotte was born and is to die for in cuteness and personality.

2. My grandmother past away and is now remembering everything she had forgotten over the last 10 years and then some. Thank you Jesus.

3. We got lice. We got rid of lice. Not to go all Martha Stewart prison on you...but if you get lice...I am the girl to talk to. I can get that shit under control in 24 hours, I have yet to sleep but we are lice free.

4. We had a most spectacular family and friend vacation to Disneyland, an annual tradition with a twist, as this year the kids got to do the Halloween scene. Costumes, Candy, HUGE Disney Hangover.

5. While at the Magic Kingdom, Gwen fell and hurt her ankle for the 3rd time in the past 18mths. She enjoyed the wheelchair for the entire disney vacation but was rather fed up by the time the following week rolled around and she still could not walk.

6. We took her to urgent care, she had a sprained ankle. But at that time, they also found a TUMOR in her bone.

7. I fell apart at the seams. Yep, COULD NOT HOLD IT TOGETHER. MOM has CRACKED UNDER THE pressure. I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Total FREAK OUT MOMENT. Don't worry I was very calm in front of the children as Mary Poppins would advise.

8. Here we are 3 weeks later, the tumor is benign, her ankle if finally getting better, and she was able to ride her horse for the first time in a long time today. So thankful for the friends, doctors, science, teachers, overall amazing people in our lives. Seriously.

9. I am NOT holding my breath for what is next

10. Surely God has prepared us.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Path of Life Psalm 16:11

I know this woman, she plays music with the Angels. 

I met her years ago, she was inspired to play the harp and told me she wanted to use it as therapy. To be able to play for people as they set on their path, whether recovery, discovery or even death.  I have heard her play so often that I take if for granted. But the sound is truly that of Peace and Clarity. I asked her once what her goal was, pursuing music for her life work? She said that she wanted to play people into Heaven.

Today my sister played for my Grandmother on her Path into Heaven. 
A reflection of admirable women indeed. Good Night Grandmother, Good Night. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

Check Mate

The Dude hardly gets any air time. I mean it is always the girls with the cute look or the dress up reenactment of Elsa freezing Anna. They get all the posts and the blogs and the hashtags.  The boy refuses to be caught dead doing anything remotely absurd. He is business. He is the hard core facts. He is a perfectionist. He will not be beaten at any game. He will succeed and surpass despite what skeptics believe. So hold on to your selfies...the Blog is for the BOY!

I am ridiculously happy and proud of my son.  Jonah has spent a year being in between. He is in a wonderful class with an encouraging teacher. He has been improving his skills as a student (easier said than done when you are a boy with a mighty brain). He has been gaining self confidence and letting God guide his path. All of these good good things in his life, yet such an unsettled year and uneasy place for him. He has been waiting, watching, wishing. He aches from that feeling of "not quite there yet but no where else to go". So we have been anxiously awaiting some placement and test results that will give us more choices for him. As a family we decided to move all the children to the same school for 2014-15. Regardless of the education program, they would be housed in one location. Good, but not complete. Jonah really needs something more specialized.

Today, unexpectedly and earlier than anticipated, we got Jonah's test results.  I can NOT stop smiling ear to ear, as he has qualified for the Renaissance program at his new school. All of a sudden a huge weight lifted from his frame, he knows in his soul that his immediate future looks very bright. He may be living in the moment very soon, no longer waiting and wishing. And as his parent, the weight is even loftier. I am lighter than air today.  Seems so simple when you put it out there. But for a boy who has built the Hindenburg out of a party city balloon and some construction paper, and built the Statue of Liberty out of Legos......the fact of creating your day and living that creation will be so much healthier for him. So hard to put into words.

Last year I was equally as excited for his sister to have the opportunity in this same program, this chance for Jonah is different. For him it means life, learning for him is like breathing air.
So here it is, since i am the owner of this Blog o Rama and I can say what I want, and it was your choice to read it anyway #toomuchtimeonyourhands:

My son, is wickedly smart, Godly wise and ridiculously genuine. I promise you he will NOT fail, but instead blow your mind with his success..and Yes i am bragging, and promise to humbly move on but for this one time.....I must say it! I am SOOOOO Happy. (insert Pharrell Williams)
To celebrate this wonderful news, we ate cake pops from Starbucks and he beat me in a game of Checkers....That is right, I can NO longer win! Not even a chance. side note, i refuse to play chess with him, i have some dignity that needs to remain in tact.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

For the love of Cupcakes

Blah Blah Blah, same story: Been so long since i wrote anything. But I swear that i do think all the time!!! It's just the putting it out there part and my lack of follow through. I am the idea girl. Thats IT!
So here it is then. Death. I have been recently grieving the death of my dear dear friend. Just a simple woman with an incredible mind and ability to warm my  heart yet piss me off all over the course of a Grande Latte. She was so very talented in ways that most all other people I have met are lacking. She was an idea girl! She died very alone. She came from such a big family, yet had no children and hardly a spouse and was just Alone. How does that happen to someone? Side note: it takes a village, we can not be anyones universe, that is what God is for. My heart continues to ache for her in this particular way:

It is like she never existed.

Which isn't that the human way, and isn't that what all the "green" folk are pushing for? No footprint?
How can we make a foot print, yet not leave one? This woman, I suppose,  did not...except on me..maybe a few more. But I will not share her life or her stories with my children or grandchildren as I don't know them very well and she was not integrated into their lives in a way that you would think healthy.  I suppose I will cherish her for myself which seems incredible selfish and the exact opposite of Gods message in salvation and eternal life....but I just cant get past the point. Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust.

Which brings me to:
Fucking Winter.

That is right....Winter, which means we have spent the past 3 weeks heavily on the couch, in a bed, eating wafers, drinking Pedialyte (probably contains GMO"s). It is the season for unhealth. However, it is these bare moments that my footprint is being created...with my children, with my husband, my neighbor, my parents. Life lessons that will be spread like the little germs my kids are spreading now. I have no desire to change the world in a Grand way. I do desire to impact people in my path for good. So that when I die those lessons and stories are passed on and my time here doesn't die when I die. I suppose my perspective is changing even as I type...perhaps my dear friend had it right all along.

I just want to exist! 

Just as your children are a mirror of yourself, I reflect that Death is the same. Such a character building experience, unless of course, you are dead.  So while many of my frilly readers will have a hard time with this post, all of us will Pass! #JanetJackson What have you done for me Lately? I hope I can do more with a happy heart and a legacy. 

RIP Sally Roberts Mayer