Question and Answer?

I must say that I have not felt compelled to write in so so long. Perhaps because at the end of the day I have already answered so many other peoples questions..that to ask myself any questions just seems down right cruel and stupid. However, it has been brought to my attention that i may need a bit more reflection in my day. In fact, not so much reflection as it would be prayer. In fact, not so much prayer as it would be me just asking God...WHAT AM I missing, Who am I, What do you want for me? I see you trying to talk to me, hitting me over the head with it...WHAT is IT?

Perhaps the only way i will figure it out is by asking and listening...the VERY things I teach my kids to do all day LONG. So here it is folks...one of the Darker yet True moments in the Cain Train Blog (check the description). Pretty sure CPS has me red flagged seeing our last 9 months of events and God is clearly trying to get it through my thick skull.  Life is NOT roses. There I said it. No matter how glorious we want it to seem..it is not. So in an effort to Pay Attention, Listen and Ask questions, I am going to commit to 15 min of reflection in the word a day. I shall report back with any Answers!

 Now all of you: Go ask someone something and see what the answer is...Perhaps someone will learn something...I hope it is me

1st Rodeo

1st Rodeo

Although many people use the phrase "Not my first Rodeo" This actually was and IS my first Rodeo. My first time being a wife, a parent, a homeowner, a grown up.  Last weekend I took Gwendolyn to her first rodeo, she rocked it and with ease. Let this sweet 8 yr old girl show me how it is done.

 As 2013 begins I find myself realizing that the only way I am ever going to rope any steer is to let go of my rope. Letting go of many ropes actually. First up and at the forefront is my 8yr old lady Gwendolyn. I am watching her turn into a young woman and while most of me is pushing hard for it not to happen...it is happening anyway. I must let that rope loose.....she will fly. Next is my home...it will never look like the pictures on pintrest so i need to stop caring. This home shall be a place of peace and warmth for our family and friends that seek comfort. While I am running around lassoing legos and pet shops I must remember that a sweet smell of dinner and comfort of music are better than spotless floors and shiny doors.

 Sigh. Last and probably the hardest rope to toss free. Time. I am a time nazi, refuse to be late. But i am seeing more clearly by being at the barn with my kids and the cowboys/cowgirls. Time is really yours, and what you make it. So while my obsession for punctuality may stick around...I am finding that it is much easier to plan less and do more. So saddle up 2013, I am ready to rope.

Call em like we See em

It has been a very busy, productive, and milestone kind of a month for the Cain Train.

The Lady has been successfully riding her bike with no training wheels for weeks now! The Dude was baptized a week ago, amazing! The Pickle is hilarious! Today something out of the ordinary happend. It was one of those times, when the words coming from your mouth have far impacted the room before the punctuation has been added to the sentence. As you all do, we have buckets of candy on top of the fridge right now (Thank You Halloween). Today at lunch was just like every other lunch this week. Down come the buckets, the kids make thier choice and then up go the buckets. Today the candy choices caused a bit of a stumble for me. Jonah is starting to ready but having a hard time sounding out so I chimed in.

Side note, we have alwaysed used correct terminology in our home for pretty much everything and try very hard not to make fun of words or things that are just the way We are All made and All do. We use this approach in hopes that life will be more honest and up front when they go out our doors and into the real world.

Today it happend, that Freudian slip that has fallen out of your mouth so fast, you can not take it back.."Reeces Penis"! I said it, there was no pause, they all died laughing, including Justin and myself (with my head burried of course).

I would advise you all to remove those candies from your buckets to avoid any ridiculous lunch chatter.

The End

Wednesday

Child of woe is wane and delicate...sensitive and on the quiet side, she loves the picnics and outings to the underground caverns...a solemn child, prim in dress and, on the whole, pretty lost...secretive and imaginitive, poetic, seems underprivileged and given to occasional tantrums...has six toes on one foot...^[2] ”
 

— Charles Addams

 

 

My girl learned to ride her bike last week. No training wheels....I am pretty sure she was humming the wicked witch song from the Wizard of Oz...as she peddled like a mad woman.

 

Good Night France (written through my tears, on my final night in Cabris)

I have spent the week 5000 miles from home. Leaving behind my husband, children and dogs. I was ready to come home, half way across the United States only on my first flight.  I am a sap and missed my people already. However, I am so glad I made the trip, created the memories, and took the chance (Je prende le Risque).  Next is my account of the events.

In the countryside of South France, only footsteps from the Mediterranean, the homes are separated by thick hills full of green and stillness. The sound of a crying baby or a roaring party guest are exactly the same as in Phoenix, but they are followed by the echo of empty space.  

The impromptu family dinners for 10, taste and feel the same as at home too.  The to do list for the wife is The SAME. The highs and melt downs of a 2 year old are The SAME, and the dogs life is The SAME.

The hard work is The SAME, and they give birth the same too. There are really only two major differences I noticed. The BEACH! So beautiful and naked. Topless everyone and little naked children running around all over, I was praying they had sunscreen on!

And second, my Sister. She is beautifully pregnant and so at home there.  Although there may not be an outward overflowing spectacle of our relationship, the true, underlying "you don't have to say one word" is the part that I miss terribly and hate to leave.  I suppose that is the reason we can not talk or see each other for a month or a year even, yet fall back into place as we were just together. I do feel selfish that I didn't make it for Eloise. But I am rationalizing that Cash will remember me and Megan and I will have a memory for the lifetime.

Good Night France.

Everythings coming up Roses

I am the lucky one that gets to "see it all" and just when I think I have, I take a trip to Walmart or ride the light rail down to the Veterans Day parade. Why just yesterday I had seen more stuff by 9 am then most see in a week. The George Brazil Blimp landed in our back yard, the Sheriff's regular crew of Chain Gangs was working down by the canal, and Kevin Spacey was shaving on his way to work. All that before coffee, Wow. I do enjoy free entertainment...people are FUNNY!

My life is funny, hilarious actually!

Let me show you what I visualize my life looking like.

There I am, actually ready for a hard day at work down at the reclaimed wood factory. Selecting the most beautiful wood to be turned into my new kitchen floors.

And here is my friend, she has the day off and is walking her dog (shedless, poopless, never eats dog) through the woods on her way to meet me and look at my new floors.

insert screeching hault.

Remember my life is FUNNY.  So here is what this week acutally looked like. Now don't be judgemental, we've all laughed before...It's okay to now. I did, and then I kissed them.

One Giant Leap

I remember when my first baby turned five...I held her on my lap at the end of her day, tears in my eyes, wondering where the time had gone, and if I had been enough for her? Five whole years of life gone by...

Two years later....I have tucked in my five year old astronaut and I am sitting here with those exact feelings all over again. "Rice on My tux" I always say. Watch Father of the Bride if you have no idea what I am talking about. Five years of life.....
Mostly I am proud of this Dude, and not because I was enough! Because God is good and trusting Him is making these years good and powerful. So Dearest Jonah, I pray for your continued growth in learning and trusting in God. That you would grow to be a mighty man of God and have a beautiful life on earth with Joy and Peace in your heart. You are the life of the Party and the King of laughter. Thank you for an amazing 5 years. I have no idea whats next with you, but I know it will be FUN and BIG!

Love your birthday bird, MOM